I've only ever been there once, for a wedding reception. But I've never forgotten how lush the patio/garden looked (you can see it on the web site's intro photo montage)... Il Moro, in West LA.
http://www.ilmoro.com/
Yamashiro is also a great spot. But the traffic around the place can be really horrendous at times.
http://www.yamashirorestaurant.com/
What's your favorite outdoor bistro in L.A? Know of any with a nice garden-patio type of setting?

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It's not a wedding reception then, it's just a party if you have it before you are actually married.
I sort of have mixed feelings on this. To me, the bride and groom want it both - an intimate ceremony, and the big white wedding reception. I always feel a little miffed - that they felt no one was important enough to share in the ceremony (which to me, is the most important part of a wedding), yet it was "cool" to have people party with them and give them gifts.
I'm sure I am in the minority though. I definitely think there are worse things people can do with their weddings.
Wedding receptions are truly celebrations, so wear something festive (which to me would not mean black). Black tie doesn't mean you have to wear a long dress either. The J Crew catalog (or website) has some dresses the would be worth looking at. There's one style called "Whitney" that I have and always get compliments (it comes in some nice colors)